c0mments! Today i feel extremely lazy. I have no mood to go out.
I feel like im suffering from Anxiety disorder. It seems that things isnt the way like it is before.
I tried most of my theory to cope with this. i felt like im stuck and have nowhere to go. Heres what i do every now and then. 1st thing in the morning i would wake up around 5am and watch Tv or play Psp. in the noon i would play Online games till night. I keep doing this everytime. somehow i dont feel happy with myself. I feel that i need to break this bad habit and start hanging out with friends more. I really have changed. but in the worse way.
I really2 felt lazy to do outdoors. Before i graduate from secondary school, i was very outgoing. now i prefer to stay at home. but im not happy at all. my house is all sour. Parents always make me feel pissed. its not that i hate myself. its just that i dont want to change to this type of person.
I know this is definitely not my personality. i think i really need to go to a psychiatrist.
Now i dont have a goal. I would want to continue playing basketball but i feel that it was not worth it. When i asked myself, what i want in life. Happiness. but i dont really know how to be happy. if i can recall, last time i would go for something that is very challenging. now i feel like i cant joke about anything. its like i lost my skills to joke. currently im really trying to find out why i cant joke anymore. I can laugh at funny things, well almost all things. but i cant even joke.
Maybe its because of the anxiety disorder. Now i want to spend my time searching for answer.