Today and Yesterday c0mments! Yesterday the whole day spent cleaning the room and adjusting.
today is teachers day. i went to guangyang sec and play basketball. in the end we lost. i was too overconfident.
after that wait for Izraini very long than go walk2. so damn boring. coz no plan. cant believe...this is the second time Rawi did not plan anything when he planned to go to guangyang. haiz. i got bored i complain and went to Lewis house to break-fast and ate ice cream while watching one piece. then go home tired.
.....today i talked alot. i realize sometime talk to people like expressing my oppinion they are like -.-"
whats wrong with expressing? rather than keep quiet. which do you prefer? the ones who express or the ones who just keep quiet. today i can say i have fun with only Dorwin and Gopi. they are fun people. i would like to hang out with them some other time. and yeah about Rawi i dont really understand him...usually he is easygoing but now...haiz..he changed. i prefer easygoing people rather than those who said no. i would grow to like them more.
all i can say about these two friend of mine is...Gopi, he has this fun personality although he is sometime lame, it doesnt matter. and Dorwin, he is adventurous likes to explore. he and me has a same likes. but i hope Lewis, Maverick,Dorwin,Gopi and someother classmates could go do senseless things(exploring) like the last time in the longkang. we spent time exploring the longkang for nothing. so what,its fun it doesnt matter as long as it has the fun factor. i miss those days when we hang out do sports or some weird adventure. i couldnt care less. today i learned that influence is "Change". my "bestfriend" Rawi he used to be a good character but now he mixes with those hooligans. haiz.... what i think about gang is they try to act tough. why not prove your toughness on other things like sports. you mixed with gang than you might end up taking drugs. or even worst crimes. at least i think that cigarette is minor. which is not big deal. but don go around encouraging smokes. respect the person who doesnt want to smoke. one good example is my friend Lewis. he smokes but he doesnt ask me to smoke cos he say that i play sports...okaaayyy now im gonna shit....coming out....

quote c0mments! last few days after the medical check up i played basketball. i realize that i got to buck up with my training. my shooting is horrible. but my ball handling remains the same. although i could dribble pass everybody...i cant score. whats the use of dribbling when you cant score. so i found this short quote. "always plan ahead". it means when you are not holding the ball think about what you are going to do in next possesion. i did shot a 3 point with this quote but that was only one time.that shot i took was the fastest to leave my fingers. it did go in. but i think its about planning ahead. if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. after this Fasting month i want to be in the basketball team. i want to concentrate. but i have to manage my time between work and basketball.

Yesterday and Today. c0mments! Yesterday the whole day like nightmare. i woke up finding my father scolding me about NS.
He scold3 like he is the only one with the problem. i myself tried to figure what to bring while he scold. FUCK him. this is the 1st time i scold that in blog. i go to the NS place taking taxi. i so blur. dont even know direction. i go ask people for direction but some people just say over there but i myself confuse. some of them quite rude. say that its over there but never give details about the place. then bla bla bla. i got inject three times. one on left and two one right. . then blablabla. go to school do work. then conversation with peishen then go home. g0 home straight away go out play basketball. i got dizzy around 7pm. then i go home rest. today that fuck father find the smallest mistake or should i say not a mistake. i was using a device which needed electricity then he say that i waste electric leaving the thing on. fuck it. i got pissed i didnt talk to him. get out my house as soon as possible so i dont have to hear his nag. now reach school did this blog thing.

Crossover. c0mments! I read this manga calles Crossover. the story was amazing. i just finished reading it. the main character has similarity to me. as in compare to last time i used to be. a very energetic boy,initiative and most of all competetiveness. when i play basketball i like to challenge others like crossing over them. always do unpredictable moves. the reason why i lost interest was because i stick with the "give up people". i have been infected by their desease thats why i got different way of approaching basketball. last time i like to challenge people not fearing of course. thats what made me the top of the class in sports. since i graduate i have doubt and stating facts that prevents me from enjoying basketball. although i do get thropy for the "i forgot" competition. it was most girls in my team which was made in 3 people. and only 2 guys.it was me and chris. i did all the dribbling while chris did all the shooting. it was fun i have to admit. but chris didnt come for the 3rd prize presentation and the match. i took over the game using my dribble which i took pride of. this wednesday i want to go home early and get change to jersey and train my skills back. i have always try to improve my skills. but i notice that not all skills can remain. example shooting. dribbling i can still dribble like i used to but when it comes to shooting its different. i spent 1 day shooting 500 balls into the rim not counting misses. i worked that hard and it was perfect. then few weeks later it starts to rot... i have been told that im a perfectionist. that can be negative too.i have always like to perfect things i do. now im lacking stamina. its hard gain that stamina back unless u push like crazy.
i have to remember anything is possible. dont think impossible. there wont be any computer stuffs or planes if not because of possible. i want to enjoy beating all the basketball players like i used to!! just wait. i want to challenge with my initiative.

today horoscope c0mments! Aries
The Bottom Line
Put something together so all your new friends can get to know each other better.
In Detail
Your wit is razor sharp today, so don't let it go to waste. When you enter a room full of people, strike up a conversation by just saying whatever is on your mind at the time; don't edit yourself or over think what you want to say. Free and easy communication is usually the most interesting and it will encourage people to talk back. This is a wonderful day for a job interview, a first date, or any other situation in which you need to make an outstanding first impression.

c0mments! Stupid video. do you know the feeling of backfired? we were suppose to finish this video assignment .well there is this stupid video which i have high hopes on. i thought it was suppose to be a group work. why izzit suppose to be individual work when you have alot of people doing the project? i just dont understand. now i am extremely depressed about how things turn out. i was so freakin angry yet sad. this is the 1st time i am so depressed. i WILL not do that video assignments no matter what! that thing has caused a great blow to me. i will never ever let this happen to me again. this is also the 1st time i had this feeling that i would never let go.
the moment i think of it, i became extremely depressed. i swear i will never finish this video no matter what! even 1 day of cooling down wont cool me down. stupid assignment. and i thought it was suppose to be fun. and now what happen? the more i think of it the more im mad.
all of you have fun with ur "videos". stupid hariz tag me on his stupid video assignments. it really annoys me more. >:(

Cool down Lutfi u have to keep ur spirits up c0mments! im still mad about yesterday. i just cant let it go. it hurts me. the only way to calm myself down is to do things alone. in a meanwhile i am going to draw things to make myself a little happy.
now my brother is still occupying my room. i feel like getting revenge. he is either low in IQ or just trying to get at me. i know this thing he did is against me. i hate it. your stupid grudge is making me sick. i wish he is dead. so i can be alone rather than being upset about him. soon he will realize that i hate him the most among the people that i met.

c0mments! I got a feeling that i can be myself from now on. just lke i used to.
today do work alot. scan drawings for assignment and make the character hunter from left4dead. its no that nice but i just want to finish it fast so i dont get stressed. now i left with miss sri,miss tracy and mr chua assignments. i figured that if u slack even just a little its hard to get the momentum of doing work continuosly. today i blur about the Macromedia Flash assignment. i dont know why but i dont understand what teacher is saying even face to face.
after school me and farhan stayed back for school and went out of the school and install Flash on my laptop. after i reached home i played Team Fortress with Nadia. quite fun but i think it will be more fun if we play left4dead. Team Fortress have 11 people in 1 team so its hard to communicate. anyway im planning to save money on saturday coz its fasting on that day and im gonna buy left4dead2 by the time it came out. im supposed to be sleeping now so i should go to bed after this or i wont even wake up for school FYP. haiz i must try to buck up.
Mr chua said that i could do work faster and if its true maybe i should do all the work at once. maybe i should start planning my time. or it would be a scrambled eggs.
always so messy when doing things. aiyo why am i still typing?! i should be sleeping now. hope tomorrow is fun.

haiz c0mments! Today play game all the way but still sian.
never sleep since yesterday. the team fortress is fun but it doesnt satisfy my needs.
tomorrow school need to finnish flash. i hope i can finish.
musnt forget to bring all the last year work to scan into portfolio.
yesterday also spend the whole day fixing this stupid steam.
waste of time. why are steam always causing me trouble.
in the morning my stupid father scold me for putting shoes infront of the door.
it wasnt me...it was my brother. i dont know why he likes to blame people before looking into the matters.
i hate it when someone ristrict me from doing something, it makes me feel so upset.
i didnt go meet lewis coz the whole saturday was occupied with this stupid steam.
i cant wait to finish NS and work at Cyber than i can do my OWN thing.
this brother of mine pisses me off when he smokes. its annoying. i dont get it...why smoke when you can use the money buy food. haiz. my body is aging...must exercise more.
oh ya now that i remeber i want to vs Daryl in Badminton.
see whose better. i think it will be very challenging. it will make me move alot. fun fun XD.
i everytime on laptop in the middle of the night. sometime i wander if the ghost thing were true. the more i think about it the more i will get scared.
my brother said that he experience this before IN our house. he said he saw the "Pon" above the ceiling when he was sleeping.bcoz the flapping sound make him wake up and he saw it. after that i donno what happen but he has been asking me more than few times. did you hear something or see something and i would say no coz i didnt.
whatever it is i wont be sleeping in the living room. thats where my brother experience.
argh...im not gonna continue...it creeps me by talking about this at night.

Between Feelings And Thoughts c0mments! last thursday i went to the library skipping school. i was late for school so i rather not go and do something useful for me. i went to to th library searching for personal reading. i read abour 3-4 books and 1 of them was title Anxiety blablabla. i read it. it was so detailed which i dont like. i just skip few pages and tadah! the sections was there. it was about anxiety when speaking. i read and it says that you have to balance thoughts and feelings when speaking. i was more to feeling than thinking. the difference about feelings and thoughts was....
feelings you speak about how you feel while thoughts was about what you think and not care about your feelings. that is something i learned there. for now im gonna browse something usefull in the internet.

Love For Sports c0mments! I once thought that i do sports because of a girl. When i look into my past i remembered...why i liked sports.
when i was in primary school i was a shy boy since primary one to three. i cant remember it well but i liked P.E.
I get so active when playing sports. When few years past it was already primary five. starting from that year i developed this goal. but before that soccer was introduced to me. i just played. i was enjoying soccer. After the soccer my classmates praised me of my ability to defend. since my form teacher Mr Cleetus asked me to play for the interclass soccer. i played. there was this guy named Ron. he was shorter than me but very skilled. i looked up to him. he was a very confident player. its hard for others to tackle him from what i see. the day of interclass soccer has came and i felt a little nervous. i played with alot with other classes then the next class was 5F or something... i was playing against Ron. then i didnt know if i could tackle him but i tried. when i was confronting him everything went slow and i just kicked his ball away from him. that kick was what encourage me to do my best in sports. few years has passed and i became sec 3. that moment i was taking over. i run 2.4km and what really pushed me was.... i tried to test how long or how fast i can go. after the 2.4km i felt releived. if i am not wrong i was 1st or 2nd but im sure i was 1st in sec 4. then i tried to test how far can i go with basketball.
one thing that drift me far away from basketball was...DOUBT...i doubt my own ability. thats why i cant go far.
In the next basketball training i am going to "Test" how far i can go.
How i wished i could be smarter. :D

Living in Doubt c0mments! The word Doubt is Negative yet can be useful at times. sometimes i doubt my own ability to do things. it my be caused by failure. but usually i would back up when fail. its like u put a fuel on a fire. starting from today i want to live without doubt.Thinking of situation is quite fun but thinkng about past is frustrating.